Post planner

So here's where we can store the more elaborate spam, so we don't spend a bunch of time coming up with it and can have it ready, so we can use all our time to post.

I'll start:




The endeavor began on bus slot twelve. On my way home from school I was attacked harshly by a band of misfits. They had always prodded me, bullied me by touching my hair. My hair is a Sandy Beach Paradise, and should never EVER be touched. They touched it. Too many times. Finally my death threats were not enough. It was time for me to take action.

I sprang out of my seat, much with the agility of a fearsome feline creature. As I leaped over many aisles of seats, I found the perpetrators. Three tiny boys, eighth grade. Cussin' me out and stuffs. I finally screamed at the top of my lungs like a lunatic, lunged at them. I took one by the neck and repeatedly bashed his head against the windshield. Another tried to free his friend, but was met by a powerful backhand by my awesome power. I forced the third into a head lock, quickly my blood lust growing stronger. When they ripped themselves away from me, cussing at me and calling me faggot, I screamed at them, "I'LL TWIST YOUR NIPPLES OFF LIKE BOTTLE CAPS!" I threw one of them under another seat. The leader of the three ninjas began to repeatedly kick me in the balls. However, this did not stop me. I was not even phased. My balls are numb to kickings, I live with an animalistic sister.

This did not phase them. I began a far more superior pursuit of words. Screaming, "I WILL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF AND USE THEM AS CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS!" I proceeded into the pants of the leader, using my shank-like claws to carve out whatever chunks I could. Through screams and mock faggotry, I eventually was pushed away. My claws gruesomely gored, I shot forth again. The bus driver horrified, simply glanced from the road to the back and back and forth.

My inner animal kicked in. I began to deploy my feces, beginning the screaming of a banshee. As I inserted various strands of feces into their mouths, I was slammed in the face by an algebra book of one of the ninja's sisters. I quickly ripped her boobs off with my claws, throwing them onto her brother. Screaming again, I quickly broke his neck over one of the seats and broke the jaw of his sister with a high-kick. Nothing could stop a superior being such as I. I spoke the ancient language many call jargon, I inflicted them with all the curses found in The Book of The Dead. I lashed out, snarled. I lathered my saliva in a fashion so rabid that would make Cujo seem like a stuffed puppy toy. I summoned a horde of Nazis at my command, and destroyed the remnants of their ninja force. I terrorized their villages, within their pants that is. I am... the ultimate warrior.

And that is my response to the question, "do you lift?"

....ermyourthreadnevergotrepliedtolol

when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her.
By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.
When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.
I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.
It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.
Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.
I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.
When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.
...god I’m fucked up.

LOL

Here's the post for the "My Love of Saltdfrost" thread I'll be making. I literally went online and looked up a bunch of movie quotes and put them here because I was too lazy to make some big speech. Plus, meh, she's not really worth it.

Darkel wrote:
I must express my love, my deep, deep love for Saltdfrost. I'm done hiding from you Frosty, I have to come out and say this.

Saltdfrost, the great thing about you is... when I look in your eyes and you're looking back in mine... everything... feels... not quite normal. Because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and at the same time, terrified. The truth is... I don't know what I feel except I know what kind of man I want to be. It's as if I've reached the unreachable and I wasn't ready for it.

Saltdfrost, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever. I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. But look, love is a promise; love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. Love is blind. It will take over your mind. What you think is love, is truly not. You need to elevate your mind. And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.

I refuse to let what happened to me make me bitter. I still completely believe in love and I'm open to anything that will happen to me. The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much. You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without. Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.

I love you, Frosty. And I want to touch your boobs.